We were driving to Birmingham, Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck

And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac

She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that Big Fat Bitch

So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went

Big fat bitch

she's a big ol big ol fat bitch

she goes to Ryan's and they say, Shit

this one's gonna cost us

she's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol bitch

She sweats grits

you can hide a pound of dope

under one of her tits

Big fat bitch

She's a big ol bitch

Who stole Christmas?

The Grinch

Who stole the Twinkies?

big fat bitch

She's a big ol bitch

Yeah she had this cajun friend

who had a pet alligator

She ate that some-bitch

like it was a green Now N Later

or a fried green da-mator

You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush

to masterbate her

She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol bitch

When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that would say, hey Wanda

And they'd go song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong

And now her pogo stick says, HOLY FUCKING SHIT

And they go Bount Bount

She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol bitch

She gargles and drools and spits

and she makes all kinds of noise

She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham

in her corduroys

She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol big fat bitch