You ever play Uno?

And you put down the reverse card?

And you wish you could do that in real life?

Bam! Uno reverse card

Alright, alright, let me explain the rules here

If I lay this card down, I can flip any situation around

Okay, so, one night I was getting pulled over by the po-po

Looked into my rear-view and saw the deputy

He asked if I knew why I was in trouble, sir

I ain′t Obi-Wan Kenobi, I ain't got telepathy

He asked if I was drinkin′, he started givin' orders

"Say the alphabet backwards" I can't say it forwards!

"Son, you fit the description of a neighborhood prowler

So I′m taking you to jail, have fun in the showers" (nope)

Bam! Uno reverse card

I′m placing you under arrest for the worst charge

Now, I'm taking you to county in your squad car

On the way, I′ll do a couple donuts in your front yard

I'ma take your paycheck and buy some fireworks

The illegal kind that they smuggled in from Mexico

Turn the siren on, run some red lights, maybe hit a fruit stand

Sorry, I was textin′ bro!

Bam! Uno reverse card

I lost the keys to these cuffs, that's the worst part

If I lay this card down, I can flip any situation around

It goes bam! Uno reverse card

I just hit a flower pot in the church yard

If I lay this card down, I can flip any situation around

Alright, here′s what happened

I was at a job interview at Applebee's

I was so broke, it was probably my worst year

With the manager, she smelled like gasoline

And had an attitude, she said "Why do you wanna work here?"

"I eat cheerios with tap water, I'm so broke

I need money desperately" is what came to my head

"I wanna be on the team, I′ve always dreamed of

Working at Applebee′s so much!" is what I really said

She said "Will you do whatever's required?"

I said "Absolutely," she said "You′re hired"

Bam! I hit her with that Uno reverse card

You work for me now, lady, and you're fired

I spent the next couple hours eating spinach artichoke dip

In the back office with my door closed

Then I kicked it with the dishwasher

We slacked off, smashed plates, and we broke a bunch of soup bowls

Bam! Uno reverse card

I′m just livin' man, I don′t wanna work hard

If I lay this card down (ay), I can flip any situation around

It goes bam! Uno reverse card

I just coast through life on my surfboard

If I lay this card down (uh-huh), I can flip any situation around

Hi, Mom, I'm finally on TV!

I'm a guest on the Maury Povich Show

Meh, nobody in the audience likes me

Kinda sucks, but they don′t know me though

See, my ex is here and she told everybody

I′m the baby daddy and she wants every dollar

So imagine my surprise when

Maury opened up the envelope and said "You are... the father!"

Bam!

I ain't gotta say it, you know what the words are

Sorry, Maury, that kid is yours

Good luck paying that child support (bam!)