I waited for so long

Outside myself

You see I was pretenting

To be someone else

I was longing to see

Who i wanted to be

And I've been waiting on my own

I've been waiting for too long

Not strong enough to be with you

And I've been making up my world

I've been painting it with gold

Not strong enough to see you

I irrigate illusions

Then let them grow

How can I pacify myself?

And let go

And I run wild to see

Who I turned out to be

........

But it was too cold

In my world