Oh I never sneeze when you're around,

And you never think I have a cold,

But when I'm all alone I I Ityshoo I need,

You and a box of handkerchiefs...

My nose never runs when you're around,

And you never think I have the flu,

But when I really do I I Ityshoo I need,

You and a box of handkerchiefs...

I catch a cold easy

When I'm feeling sneezy,

What I really need's a box of handkerchiefs to please me

It's you I need, you and a box of handkerchiefs...

Everytime I go out I get the flu,

I'm okay one minute then I start sneezing again,

I sneeze here I sneeze there I'm always sneezing everywhere...

Oh I never sniff when you're around,

And you never think I'm really ill,

Oh but I tell you still I I Ityshoo I need,

You and a box of handkerchiefs.