Some say the end is near

Some say we′ll see Armageddon soon

Certainly hope we willI sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of

Freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA

The only way to fix it is to flush it all away

Any fucking time, any fucking day

Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay

Fret for your figure and fret for your latte

And fret for your lawsuit and fret for your hairpiece

And fret for your Prozac and fret for your pilot

And fret for your contract and fret for your car

It′s a bullshit three ring circus sideshow of

Freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA

The only way to fix it is to flush it all away

Any fucking time, any fucking day

Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay

Some say a comet will fall from the sky

Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves

Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still

Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits

Some say the end is near

Some say we'll see Armageddon soon

Certainly hope we will

I sure could use a vacation from this

Stupid shit, silly shit, stupid shit

One great big festering neon distraction

I′ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied

Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim

′Cause Mom's gonna fix it all soon

Mom′s comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

Fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones

Fuck all these gun-toting hip gangster wannabes

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

Yeah, fuck retro anything, fuck your tattoos

Fuck all you junkies and fuck your short memory

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

Yeah, fuck smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas

Fuck these dysfunctional, insecure actresses

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

(Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim)

′Cause I'm praying for rain

I′m praying for tidal waves

I wanna see the ground give way

I wanna watch it all go down

Mom, please flush it all away

I want to see it go right in and down

I wanna watch it go right in

Watch you flush it all away

Yeah, time to bring it down again

Yeah, don't just call me pessimist

Try and read between the lines

And I can't imagine why you wouldn′t

Welcome any change, my friend

I wanna see it come down

Bring it down

Suck it down

Flush it down