When I was a kid my dad had pictures of these clowns

He hung them on my wall and wouldn't let me take them down

I didn't understand then and I still can't figure out

What those goddamn clowns were so sad about

A clown was my boss at every job I ever had

Clowns run all the record companies that ever said we're bad

A clown pretended to be a girl who pretended to be my friend

Ths world is run by clowns who can't wait for it to end

I have yet to meet a kid not scared to death of clowns

They can't walk and they don't talk they've got painted on frowns

A clown with a gun I hope I never see

Would he shoot himself or shoot me?

A clown taught every class I took at my old high school

Clowns all wear Speedos when they hang out by the pool

Clowns dress up like cops and threaten to call my folks

This town is filled with clowns who don't get my jokes

They fall on their asses

It takes lots of practice

I have nightmares filled with clowns and you're there too

You have a big red nose and stupid floppy shoes

You're becoming one I can see the signs

I hate clowns almost as much as I hate mimes