Hey, what′s for dinner? They always say

Like it really matters what I make

I'll set the table while you fill up the plates

We′ll be surprised while they patiently wait

That would be the day

Why don't we give ourselves a break?

Turn off the stove and walk away

Let someone else clean up the mess

'Cause it′s Tuesday night and kids eat free

But who′s it free for?

Eight bucks at home but here it's forty more

I need more wine what′s our server's name?

And this kid′s menu has shitty games

If I suggest this plan ever again

Remind me of the struggle

When kids eat free

Hey there folks! Are you ready to order?

Or do you need...

We'll take whatever you′ve got here

May I suggest...

The tallest beer if you've got it

Let me apologize in advance

Please understand

We're out of fries, we′re out of juice

The pizza′s cold what can I do?

No chicken, no pasta with sauce

I guess we'll eat some water

Casual food fight

This could go all night

Ice cream in my hair,

Lemonade spilled everywhere Don′t

Pull her hair, just let it go... please?

Could everyone just please eat?! Why the hell did we come here?

'Cause kids eat free

Who′s it free for?

Eight bucks at home but here it's forty more

I need more wine what′s our server's name?

And this kid's menu has shitty games

If I suggest this plan ever again

Remind me of the struggle when kids eat free