[JACK]

Listen, there were objects so peculiar

They were not to be believed

All around, things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen

And as hard as I try

I can't seem to describe

Like a most improbable dream

But you must believe when I tell you this

It's as real as my skull and it does exist

Here, let me show you

This is a thing called a present

The whole thing starts with a box

[DEVIL]

A box?

is it steel?

[WEREWOLF]

Are there locks?

[HARLEOUIN DEMON]

Is it filled with a pox?

[DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON]

A pox

How delightful, a pox

[JACK]

If you please

Just a box with bright-colored paper

And the whole thing's topped with a bow

[WITCHES]

A bow?

But why?

How ugly

What's in it?

What's in it?

[JACK]

That's the point of the thing, not to know

[CLOWN]

It's a bat

Will it bend?

[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS]

It's a rat

Will it break?

[UNDERSEA GAL]

Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake

[JACK]

Listen now, you don't understand

That's not the point of Christmas land

Now, pay attention

Now we pick up an oversized sock

And hang it like this on the wall

[MR. HYDE]

Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?

[MEDIUM MR. HYDE]

Let me see, let me look

[SMALL MR. HYDE]

Is it rotted and covered with gook?

[JACK]

Hmm, let me explain

There's no foot inside, but there's candy

Or sometimes it's filled with small toys

[MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON]

Small toys

[WINGED DEMON]

Do they bite?

[MUMMY]

Do they snap?

[WINGED DEMON]

Or explode in a sack?

[CORPSE KID]

Or perhaps they just spring out

And scare girls and boys

[MAYOR