I bought a Tascam reel and a cast iron pan

A flask of Tequila, a fountain pen

A sexy typewriter, from way back whenI bid a fond farewell to my bestest friends

I packed my possessions in a U-Haul van

I soared, like a sailor to the promised land

Once I saw the aqueducts and statues,

I knew what I had to do

I′d do,

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans, do

I found a one-bedroom with a bird's eye view

Rode the F train to second avenue

Where the bath house was bumpin′ the dubstep blues

Swingin'

They're sipping cane sugar sodas for top shelf booze

Mix Ralph Lauren togas with thrift-shop shoes

Meeting 9 to 5 quotas with a-nothin to lose

They like to see pictures

They like captions

They like songs with lots of ′oooos′

That's how you do,

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans, do

Sing with the sirens

What do they tell you?

Isn′t it lovely

When they scream?

I showed up to the alley with my tin pan

With a middle finger stickin it to the man

But the miners in the alley traded tin pans

For the Silicon Valley and a business plan

So I tattooed my face onto my hand

And unto my own image I built a brand

Now as soon as I have a million faceless fans

That's when I′mma start movin' those cheap head bands

They like to see pictures,

They like captions,

They like songs with lots of

Talk about my social status, add me to your list, I want to

These days we build empires in much

Less than one day, oh yes it′s true

And you can too

As long as you do,

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans, do

Do as the Romans

Do as the Romans

Do as the Romans

Do as the Romans

Do as the Romans

Do as the Romans

Do as the Romans

Do as the Romans, do