Walk in the party with my dick in my hand

Then straight to the bathroom with my dick in my hand

You wanna step up? I got the brick in my handThen leave your ass face down with my dick in my hand

I′m Mark McGwirey, buff not wirey

Alex P. Keaton is who I admirey

And I know that it's true, ′cause I read it in your diary

Your spirit, your bat and your crotch, all fiery

Bash Brothers, fast lovers

We be fuckin' faster than chattering teeth

Chattering teeth

We're two little jackrabbits fuckin′ in our cleats

All you silly billy big ol′ titty biddies

Wanna see my willy-dilly, vibing me willy-nilly

And we getting silly honeys but I don't mean silly funny

Snow bunny, city bunny, even Ms. McGillicuddy

And we′re making silly money, while you play with silly putty

Then I'm bashing with my buddy, and I′m bashing with my buddy

Wearing fashion with my buddy, playing saxes with my buddy

Snorting a relaxant while evading taxes with my buddy

I'm a gladiator (I′m a gladiator)

My body's a machine (my body's a machine)

I hit home runs (I hit home runs)

′Cause I′m focused as fuck

Where is the limit? (There are no limits)

And what is the goal? (To make dad love me)

To make dad love me (to make dad love me)

To make dad finally love me

I got 100 cardboard cutouts of Kathy Ireland all in one room

I run through that shit naked

Make 'em all watch me fuck myself with a broom

Oh, Kathies, all my Kathies

You′re the only ones that know my pain

And you're the only ones that see my shame

Ay, yo, José, c′mon man, we're late for the game