Well, I been spending all my money on weed ′n' pills

Trying to write a song that′ll pay the bills

But it ain't came yet so I guess I'll have to rob a bankI guess it could be worse, it ain′t that bad

At least I ain′t sitting in old Baghdad

In the middle of the hot damn desert sitting in a tank

Well, every time the wife talks, a baby gets mentioned

I'm so broke, I can′t pay attention

Lord, how it tears me up to see her cry

So I been spending all my nights on the internet

Looking for a clue but ain't found one yet

Just a bunch of Mopars, guitars, and other stuff I can′t buy

Well now Lord, if you can hear me, won't you throw a damn dog a bone?

′Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal

This old soul's going down

I sing 'em real pretty, I sing ′em real sad

All the people in the crowd say he ain′t half-bad

Well, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain

If you want it, you can have the crown

Well, I been sitting on my ass like a bump on a log

Watching Andy and ol' Boss Hog

Guess I ought to get up and go out and find a job

Instead of sitting on the couch trying to find the next line

I′m sure there's gotta be a better use of my time

Like figuring out which one of these banks I′m gonna go rob

Well, the name of the game is "Hurry up and wait"

But that ain't putting no food on my plate

Or gas in my car and I drive a Bronco

So Lord, if I could just get me a record deal

I might not have to worry about my next meal

But I′ll still be trying to figure out

What the hell rhymes with Bronco

Well now Lord, if you can hear me, won't you throw a damn dog a bone?

'Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal

This old soul′s going down

Oh, I sing ′em real pretty, sing 'em real sad

All the people in the crowd say he ain′t half-bad

Well, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain

If you want it, you can have the crown

Well, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain

If you want it, you can have the crown