So you wanna marry Daisy

Yeah, well, good luck with that

You got about as much of a chanceOf licking the brim of my hat

′Cause she's a purebred, her forehead′s

Worth about as much as your car

So let's just say your little bouquet

Won't get you very far

But slow down there slick

See my sleeves are full of tricks

You just say the word and I′ll have you birds

Kissing at the Ritz

And my price? It′s nothing, it's cookie crumbs

More of a steal if you ask me

In terms of conditions, my friend

I′ve only got three

Rule one, congratulations, son

You've been promoted to private eye

I want a page a week on every word she speaks

And brother, don′t ask why

Rule two, you see that window

Right above mademoiselle's boudoir?

Won′t you be a doll and unlock it?

I gotta make a quick withdrawal and a small deposit

And last but not least

Listen up close kid, this one's for your own good

If that girl ever twirls her little brunette curls

And leans in close to say

"Meet me under the Magnolia tonight

If you wanna get a little crazy"

Well, you turn and run for the hills, straight and fast

Because crazy's Daisy′s way of saying

You′ll end up laying on the wrong side of the grass

So you wanna marry Daisy

Well, that death wish don't come free

But a wicked dream needs a wicked schemer

So thank heavens you met me

She′s got a two-ply, cream pie, uni degree

In stealing from suckers like you, stealing

She's got a two-ply, cream pie, hard knocks degree

In feasting on suckers, on suckers like you