[Verse 1]

Guess I'll end this life alone

I am not dramatic

These are just the thoughts that pass right through me

All the douchebags in my phone

Play 'em like a slot machine

If they're winnin', I'm just losin'

[Pre-Chorus]

A boy who's jacked and kind

Can't find his ass to save my life

[Chorus]

Oh, it's slim pickings

If I can't have the one I love

I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'

Just to get my fixings

Since the good ones are deceased or taken

I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

[Post-Chorus]

Ah-ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah-ah

[Verse 2]

Jesus, what's a girl to do?

This boy doesn't even know

The difference between "there," "their" and "they are"

Yet he's naked in my room

Missin' all the things he's missin'

God knows that he isn't livin' large

[Pre-Chorus]

A boy who's nice that breathes

I swear he's nowhere to be seen

[Chorus]

It's slim pickings

If I can't have the one I love

I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'

Just to get my fixings

Since the good ones are deceased or taken

I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

[Post-Chorus]

Moanin' and bitchin'

[Outro]

Since the good ones call their exes wasted

And since the Lord forgot my gay awakenin'

Then I'll just be here in the kitchen

Servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'