Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch

Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday′s getting bland

Feels like I'm all aloneWith my ranch microphone

But then I realize

Hot mic on Instagram Live

Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world′s got a chance

If life is just a salad

Guess I'm making healthy choices

Sound check with the bottle cap

I'm warming up my voice and

Flip into a freestyle

Now I′m riffin′ off the dome piece

Slip into the zone

Just as the tempo starts to increase

Life is obscene

Feels so serene

Trapped in a bowl

That is filled with mixed greens

No one can stop me

From bringing the topping

Here comes the ranch

Bottle is popping

Bringing the sauce

Time for a toss

Knee deep in vegetables

Kickin' it raw

What′s going on?

Here come the tongs

Slingin' a remix

Caught in the prongs

Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch

Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday′s getting bland

Feels like I'm all alone

With my ranch microphone

But then I realize

Hot mic on Instagram Live

Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world′s got a chance

Something's really buggin' me

Yeah, it′s my smoke detector

Thing is on low battery

And it is beeping constantly

Much respect for fire safety

Down with Safety Pup

But it′s driving me insane

And now I've really had enough

Exit my apartment

And I duck into an alley

Jump into the dumpster

And transport to Hidden Valley

Must of accidentally fallen

Down into a portal

Though I′m in a foreign land

I somehow feel immortal

Does it seem familiar

Is it me being unstable?

Cause it looks just like the bottle

Of my ranch right on the label

Not sure what is happening

I'm discombobulated

I guess singing into condiments

Is vastly underrated

Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch

Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday′s getting bland

Feels like I'm all alone

With my ranch microphone

But then I realize

Hot mic on Instagram Live

Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world′s got a chance

Suddenly it's like a concert

Sprouts up from the ground

Veggies playing instruments

In Dolby full surround

Carrot's on the bass

Lettuce on the drums

Cucumber′s on lead guitar

And now he starts to strum

Appearing right in front of me

Though I don′t understand

It's a slender stalk of celery

I realize it′s a stand

Pull out my ranch mic

And I notice it's plugged in

Now it′s making sense to me

That's when I start to sing

Life is just a salad as I sing into a bottle of ranch (I′ve got my bottle of ranch)

Gotta add some dressing when the taste of everyday's getting bland (when everything's tasting bad)

Feels like I′m all alone (I′m so solo)

With my ranch microphone (my microphone)

But then I'm amped to see (I′m amped to see)

My veggie band with me (veggie band with me)

Gotta keep it interesting or no one in this world's got a chance