We have a fuckin′, uh, incredible show for you tonight

Pardon me for saying "Fuckin'" on network television—

I′m not gonna have this job for long—It's Exile!It's me, it′s you. These are our guests

Let′s go. Yeah

I gave up and became a Spotify-er

Paying myself a fraction of a penny playing "Qualifiers"

I'm looking up and I′m stuck in a Chucky movie

Saying yucky shit for chuckles like it's Lucky Louie

So somebody better cancel me

Before I get a chance to screen this ass-naked dance routine

It′s dark comedy, cold as a soldier's stare

I′ve been exposed, so now the LOLs is my over-wear

And I'm a polar bear with words for a fancy song

I think it's the first verse from Little Miss Can′t Be Wrong

Fuck you, I like the Spin Doctors

Is that dude Finn′s father or just an impostor?

The new internet thing's to be pretend awkward

Non-prescription, thick-rimmed frames and rented gym lockers

I′m a rapper, we lament being broke

All the comics get money, but they spend it on coke

You can watch us on the newsfeeds

Fucking y'all′s mornings up

Until America admits that it likes dogs more than us

And I can see the Super Bowls of the future:

The Ferguson blacks vs. Missouri State Troopers

The privacy rights vs. the personal computers

Concussion researchers vs. university boosters

I graduated college, I purchased all the extra books

I'm supposed to be living in a house with a breakfast nook

Joke′s on me, though

All this cheap alcohol and no Coke Zero

Ashamed how proximity kills yo heroes

Hey, yo, no poking, I'm still woke, Cee-Lo

Yeah, It's all ripped from the headlines

I′m all outta options like a Crip on the red line

I got a deadline, before I never had a deal

Stormed out of business meetings, slipped on mass banana peels

I should probably shut my stupid mouth

Shirtless in a fur hat and Vladimir Putin pout

And North Korea′s got practice missiles

And I still check Yahoo cause we both got attachment issues

Our Congress moves just like a cult could

Invade Iraq 15 times in my adulthood

And we quit asking for the reasons

And clicked the Constitution's terms of service agreements

We′re dreaming from sundown to high noon

And it's close to a all out war

With kids being murdered just for being black and tall outdoors

They respond to demonstrations wearing kevlar briefs

When the main problem is nobody respects our grief

They say if it bends it′s funny, if it breaks it ain't though

I still got broke pockets and trying to host the Late Show

Recording it every night, but I don′t know where the tape go

Homeless fashionistas tell me everything that they know

Yeah, you got a style

Tie them fancy sandals up, smile

You on the NSA's candid cameras, now

I'm in a church basement learning Shotokan

I saw Jesus taking a selfie and I photobombed

And dude better tag me

A little recognition makes me do better gladly

Like this one time when I got booed at a track meet

In a Hellfyre Club sweater for two letter athletes

One for regret dreams, one for most suppressed team

Pressure valve gets released and sprays like a jet stream

Karl Kani′s and Z Cavaricci′s from Chess King

K-Mart name brands were the least interesting

I appreciated presidential speeches on the West Wing

I never had wet dreams or piloted an X-Wing

I'm still terrible at being sarcastic black

My man Exile, he knows what I′m laughing at

My man Toy-Light, he knows what I'm laughing at

The studio audience knows what I′m laughing at

Laughing at all types of shit

I laugh at, um, CNN. I don't know why

That might be an issue; that might be a problem actually

It′s not, it's not a humorous channel, you know what I mean?

It's not trying to compete with Comedy Central

If anything, it′s trying to compete with Headline News

Which I′m pretty sure is like the same company

Or it's trying to compete with, uh, MSNBC kinda

MSNBC is blue and to the left

CNN is red, white, and black, and in the middle

And Fox News is bright red and hollerin′, and on the right

And there's an elephant and a donkey

And then an eledonkeyphant. A donkaphant

Uh, a helladonkaphant. Shit