Out on the third planet closest to the sun

There′s a special celebration and it sounds quite fun

A jolly old fellow brings toys to everyoneOn a holiday they call Christmas

Now, I'm not gonna lie, it makes no sense to me

But here′s what earthlings told me about this Christmas mystery

One, two, three, four

Santa is a furry freak with epic superpowers

He flies to every human home in under 14 hours

He's a master burglar, a pro at picking locks

If you don't leave milk and cookies out

He will put dung in your socks

If you act nice, sleep through the night

And don′t jump on your bed

Santa comes with sugarplums, and hurls them at your head

But if you′re on his naughty list, he shoots missiles at your toes

He might just roast your chestnuts with his powerful flamethrower

Rein, rein, rein, rein, rein

Deer, deer, deer, deer, deer

I don't know what Christmas is

But Christmastime is here

He′s compelled his creepy elves to do his every wish

One sought to be a dentist, now he's sleeping with the fish

Mrs. Clause, she works the pole, plans her man′s demise

Soon the elves will all rise up, and stab out Santa's eyes

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho

Earthlings are so weird

I don′t know what Christmas is

But Christmastime is here

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho

Earthlings are so weird

I don't know what Christmas is

But Christmastime is here

What the heck's a turtledove?

And who lit up that deer?

I don′t know what Christmas is, but Christmastime is here

I don′t know what Christmas is, but Christmastime is here

Or maybe it's there?

Or it′s somewhere?

I don't know, I don′t know