She used to call me baby

I thought she was such a lady

But my how things have changed since times moved on

I give her my last dollar

Now all she'll do is hollar

Oh my life has become a country song

I've learned she can't resist me

By the way she always disses me

And comes to bed at night with that cold cream on Sometimes I might feel frisky

But these days its just too risky

It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long.

All day long

It goes on and on

If a tree fell in the forest

And she didn't hear it

Would I still be wrong

I guess I should admit it

She ain't never gonna quit it

It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long

(spoken)

Man I remember when her eyes used to be so blue and shiny

God you oughta see what's happened to her heiny

Her what?

Her heiny

Man that thing is big enough to land a small plane on

Small plane?

I used to roll her in the clover

But thank God those days are over

(sung)

It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long

All day long

She goes on and on

(spoken)

If someday they drop the big one

I'd say, "Sweet Jesus she's gonna finally leave me alone"

(sung)

It's all right if we say it

Cuz the radio won't play it

It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long.

It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long.