Uh, chopping garlic by myself

You know ain′t nobody worried bout' yo health, right

(Right?)Keep a condom by my belt

You know better than to trust somebody else, right

(Right?)

Uh, smokin′ ganja but I'm still on probation

You wont tell nobody else, right

(Right?)

Grab that vodka from the shelf

I know it don't my problems, but it helps

Uh, here′s another song for you to skip, My Guy

To be honest with you I don′t give a shit, My Guy

I'm saying whatever I want and that′s it, My Guy

A big part of me is bout ready quit, My Guy

4th floor in my apartment, microphone in front of me

I'm playing Donnell Jones wondering where I wanna be

All this energy I put out, will it ever come to me

Do I want to much from you or do you want to much from me?

What happens when your only love never brings you joy?

What′s left for you?

All this art in me took arteries out my chest for you

Until I'm all out of breath

With my dogs on the left

Tryna crawl to success, yes (yea)

All my niggas Tryna ball even on off seasons

Mama say you off the wall you need to call on Jesus

Walaikum Salam, brother Demond on my receiver

He say where them new songs at, we need ya

(Ahki, where you been at man?)

Chopping garlic by myself

You know ain′t nobody worried bout' yo health, right

(Right?)

Keep a condom by my belt

You know better than to trust somebody else, right

(Right?)

Uh, smokin' ganja but I′m still on probation

You wont tell nobody else, right

(Right?)

Grab that vodka from the shelf

I know it don′t my problems, but it helps

You know a lot of my songs all about alcohol and women

Maybe I should talk about one I ain't put my dick in

She god fearing, not a big fan of religion

For the sake of time I′m a skip by all the beginning

It was round the summer time when all this happened

By the Ida's B′s walking pass I ran into Eze Jackson

We started rapping

About the Whole Bushel Live

Squeegee boys at ya ride

Album mode, what's the vibe

I said Which Way Is- the phone interrupted

Who fuck is this, somebody always wanting something

Oh nah, this the homie, she′s actually dope

Yo, give me one second bro

And then I answer the phone like "what up hoe"

Normally we joke

It took her a couple seconds before she even spoke

She said are you too busy for talking on the phone cause

Its been a hard day and I'm really feeling alone

Like, whats been going on...

I ain't heard this tone from her often

She said she was in pain but she dancing round the problem

She steady pausing and hesitating while she talking

Then she said it fast like she was Tryna hurry past it

I got Cancer and I′m hurtin′

I only told you my father and one other person

And that's where it′s gon' end

Cause people can′t wait to pretend they really care then treat you differently

Keep that same energy, bitch I don't want your sympathy

I rather suffer in silence before I let them pity me

Niggas in my DM better slide thru with a remedy

I′m tired

I know my family gotta know eventually

I'm just not ready to be someone else when they mention me

From Noelle, that slick girl

To "yea that's the sick girl"

"Shorty cool as shit" girl

To "hope she find a fix" girl

Watching life change before my very eyes

I know I′m sounding tough but Mike I′m terrified

Fuck a Perc I'm poppin′ vitamins like they Sour Patches

Asking God why this happened

For hours been shouting at him

I feel betrayed

I never strayed and now I'm abandoned

Cry till I′m crying laughing

My eyes never dry on the inside I just hide em behind the glasses

Frame of mind that you can not imagine

Not time for sobbing when I'm in traffic with stomach pains

God these stomach pains

That come and go I never know cause no day is this same

The cells in my body ain′t got no good reception

On day a shower feels like heaven

The next its feeling like a weapon

Liquid needles on my back, I been thinking bout that chemo

But I'm more afraid of that, I've seen what it does to people

I been searching for the facts

I′m on google till my eyes hurt

Praying on a maybe

Hoping they can save me

Hemp oil and fruit but

I can′t pay for too much

These hospitals Klu Klux

I'm beat down and juiced up

I re found a true love

For life and all the simple things, it′s been a long year

I see it all clear

We think of life in the physical, yo music is a miracle

Cause when you dead and gone you got yo songs that you'll be living through

Words are strong enough to hold a heavy heart

To play inside a home

And know you not alone

Between you an me I been tryna make jewelry but

How do you stay inspired thinking about ya eulogy

It′s hard creating light inside the darkness

Then I realized I'm on some God shit

In genesis that′s how this all started

My conscious exalted

I'm done eating garbage

I only eat this raw shit

I barley salt it

And I find, my better days come with a positive mind

Someone's on my other line, I′ll call you back like after nine

Click

And now I′m sick cause her problem I can't fix

And I′m stuck with survivors guilt and I feel more guilty for feeling guilty

The nerve of me

Like her struggle could burden me

When her life's an uncertainty

It′s too much at one time

I don't know what how to feel

I don′t know what to feel

It's too fucking real

We had that conversation in July

Last night at 3am while I was working on my rhyme, then she was lurking on my mind

And so I had to check, on my friend and sent a text

Are you up? and she said yep

Wyd? she said

Chopping garlic by myself

You know ain't nobody worried bout′ yo health, right

(Right?)

Keep a condom by my belt

You know better than to trust somebody else, right

(Right?)

Uh, smokin′ ganja but I'm still on probation

You wont tell nobody else, right

(Right?)

Grab that vodka from the shelf

I know it don′t my problems, but it helps