Never gonna be what I wanna say

Always gonna be in my own way

Never gonna ′scape all of this painAlways gonna be trapped in my brain

Trynna find my way outta this maze

Trynna find the heart that I locked away

I have some things that I really need t'say

Y′all gonna be my journal for the day

Spinnin' my head right round

Like a record baby

Being put down

Give me all the sound

Morphine in my ears

As I drown it out

I always seem to fade away

Always seem to hide away

Everything I wanna say

But that's not today

I′m gonna be

Talkin′ bout my feelings

As I fall apart at the seams

The world is decimating

Every part of me

Gotta be

Better than I used to be

Protect my girl from everything

Especially

The thoughts inside my head

Fightin' like a war

And I′m so sore

Shot through my heart

And it's been torn

Sittin′ on the floor

Trynna figure out

How to get out

Of this place that doubt built

And I can't seem to find my fill

Of the life I know is still

Out there for me

Even if I can′t seem

To find a thing

Find even a shred of reprieve

As I try to see

Past all of the negativity

That's sittin' right in front of me

Negative is all I see

Yeah

In front of me

Yeah

′Cause nothin′ seems to work right

Nothin' ever is fine

Never seem to lock tight

All the positivity

Everything I always need

Only ever just a dream

Cause there′s never a cure for me

I'm just trying to stay afloat

In this leaky boat

As I float away

In this lake that my tears made

′Cause

Never gonna be what I wanna say

Always gonna be in my own way

Never gonna 'scape all of this pain

Always gonna be trapped in my brain

Trynna find my way outta this maze

Trynna find the heart that I locked away

I have some things that I really need t′say

Y'all gonna be my journal for the day

Sittin' here I′m thinkin′

'Bout all that I coulda been

All that I should′ve said

And everything I wish I'd did

Every time

Every try

Every lie that I make

Every time

I say it′s fine

When it's not okay

When I cry

When I die

A little more inside

As I try to find

Another way to get to the light

It′s getting harder to see

What's in front of me

The future is depressing

And my present is bleak

I'm hyperventilating

As we speak

4 seconds in

8 seconds out

Do it over and over again

Until I pass out

I′m just trynna hold myself up

When it′s all fallen down

But I guess I'm stuck

In this place that makes me feel like I′m just not enough. Yuh

Like I'm not enough

Like I′m just stuck

In this hell

That I made for myself

And it'll never change

I′ll never change. Yuh

Never change what's inside me

I try to see

All the beauty

Within everything

But I'll never get the chance to see

All the blooming

Flowers and the trees

Everything that makes me happy

I′ll never see

No

Cause

Never gonna be what I wanna say

Always gonna be in my own way

Never gonna ′scape all of this pain

Always gonna be trapped in my brain

Trynna find my way outta this maze

Trynna find the heart that I locked away

I had some things I really had t'say

Thanks for being my journal for the day