I′ve got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry

Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime

Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampiresAnd I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar

White chalk outline, caution tape and flashing lights

Let me tell you ′bout the night I died (died, died, died, died)

I pulled up to the party, wide-eyed, thinking that I had arrived

Eating all my innocence in a cherry pie

Now you'd never believe we're

Barbies, do it in the bathroom

Werewolves on the hunt, it′s not even a full moon

Superman, he don′t have superpowers

Just liquid courage and a little white powder

I've got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry

Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime

Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampires

And I would tell you the truth, but you′d call me a liar

Mary had a little crush, but now her heart is broke

Said he was a gentleman, but now he's just a ghost

Leaned in, kissed her neck and said, "No one has to know"

But he told everyone he knows, now Mary′s just a joke

Prince Charming is just a frog in disguise

Who gets a lot of Botox and memorizes his lines

Even villains look good in a suit and tie

If they have to say it, well

They're probably not a good guy

I′ve got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry

Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime

Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampires

And I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar

Glitter, spandex, porcelain, plastic

Odd revenge, but make it romantic

Why's the ending have to be tragic?

Well, that′s how you make Hollywood magic

I′ve got stories that could make the monsters under your bed cry

Welcome to my life, it plays out just like a true crime

Romance and bad guys and plot twists and vampires

And I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar

Yeah, I would tell you the truth, but you′d call me a liar, liar, liar, liar

Yeah, I would tell you the truth, but you'd call me a liar