I break the ice

So they don′t see my size

And I have to be niceOr I'll be the next punchline

I′m just the best friend in Hollywood movies

Who only exist to continue the story

The girl gets the guy while I'm standing off-screen

So I'll wait for my cue to be comedic relief

Can′t be too loud

Can′t be too busy

If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can′t be too proud

Can't think I′m pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

I say I'm okay

′Cause they wouldn't care anyway

And I could try to explain

But my efforts in vain

They can't relate to how I′ve-

Drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors

If that′s what it took for me to look in the mirror

I've done every diet to make me look thinner

So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior?

Can′t be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don′t answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can't be too proud and

Can′t think I'm pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

It's funny when I think a guy likes me

And it′s funny when I′m the one who says, "Let's go to eat"

It′s funny when I'm asked to go out on Halloween

Dresses and thigh highs, while I hide my body

Can′t be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don′t answer now, are they still gonna miss me?

Can't be too loud

And can't be too busy

If I don′t answer now, are they still gonna need me?

Can′t be too proud and

Can't think I′m pretty

Do they keep me around, so their flaws just seem silly?

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

Life of the fat, funny friend

I've drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors