Like any morning of my junior year I stumble in the classroom late

But this day I see faces, I feel an air like a funeral, like a wake, as I sit dow

My teacher speaking, somewhat somberly, but still confident and calmPart eulogy, her speech, and part poem, part celebration song

Her warmth and smile, she passes photocopies out to us of entries from a journal

Kept so long ago, she starts to read and suddenly it′s 1980

March 5: The cancer is furious but our son is resilient

We have all the faith we'll get through this no matter what the end

Treatments are violent but he keeps on smiling

It′s amazing finding joy in the little things

April 12: Andrew's appetites improved and we thank God everyday

But still it's hard sometimes to see him in that scarecrow frame

July 9: There′s a suffering when I look in his eyes, he′s been through so much

We've all been through so much but what incredible resolve our little boy shows

Only 7, standing face to face with death

He said it′s easy to find people who have suffered worse than him

"Like Jesus, suffered worse than anyone," he told me last night, "when God abandoned him."

September 20: We've been playing in the yard lately

And spirits are high although his blood counts aren′t

October 14: He feels tired all the time

November 30: At the hospital again, it feels like home when we're here

December 8: He′s getting worse

January 19: We buried our son today, our youngest child

And while his death was ugly we must not let it scare us from God

Abundant grace has restored him

A brand new body, and set him free from the torture, finally rid of the cancer

Before the moment he left he briefly wrested from death, suddenly opened his eyes, said

"I see everything, I see everything"

And I will never forget it

The peace and the comfort you displayed through a pain that I can only imagine

The loss of a child to the torture of cancer

Help me

'Cause I can only imagine how you recovered, kept your faith and held the brightness of life

Inside the smile of a child you had to bury

And I will never forget him or your steadfast faith

No, I will never forget you

Now six or seven years later, I'm devoid of all faith

I am empty of comfort and I am weary of waiting

Though I′ve felt nowhere what you have, I see nothing at all

Though I′ve felt nowhere what he did, my eyes are closed