Prepare yourselves

For a rap battle unlike any you′ve heard before

They've got the wholesome healsThe biggest buffs

The strongest support around

Take it away!

It′s time for your prognosis

The doctor is in

Heroes never die

But you're not one of them

I arrive on swift wings, like a bird in a hurry

If you have an emergency, get word out to Mercy

I may have a halo, but I'm no angel

With my damage buffs I can make your life painful

Who will patch you up after I′ve hurt you badly?

Better call the medic - oh wait, that′s me!

(Haha)

Prepare for your examination

If you don't have your papers then you face extermination

Pardon me, frau, how did you become a doctor?

Where I′m from, only men get that job offer

Did I strike a nerve? Yes, I think it's working!

See, healing is not as rewarding as the hurting

You were doomed from the start, dummkopf

And your lyrics are almost as weak as you are

I′m at the top of my field

I could give you guidance

After all, I heard about how you lost your license

Messing with me isn't healthy, here′s a warning

After this battle take some aspirin

And call me back in the morning

For your sake, I hope that you can self-heal quickly

I can glide and fly, good luck keeping up with me

Pity on your bad rhymes always flatline

On a scale of 1 to 10, where's your pain at?

NEIN!

Stay where you belong, on the sidelines

Or the only flatlining will be your vital signs

Your healing stream won't clean up this bloodbath

My Ubercharge is Wunderbar, your skills are Wunderbad

I haven′t lost my sanity, I′m simply going mad

Kill them all! Those are just the voices in my head

Wait, hold the mic, I need to heal my team, stat!

So do I, sorry, we'll be right back!

I can give you strength

I can make you tough

I will heal all your pain

And your attack will be buffed

If I can′t use weapons, or defend you with violence

I'll have your back and help you kill them with kindness

Alright, enough with that scheisse!

Watch your language, schweinhund!

Hey! That′s my word!

I know, because it describes you perfectly

Let me give you some doctor-assisted homicide

Hold on, am I speaking to Jekyll or Hyde?

My diagnosis - split personality

Check your mail, I'll send my consultation fee

But it doesn′t take a doctor to see that

There is no prescription to treat whatever he has

Your overheal is overrated

A quick-fix won't save you from being outdated

My ultimate can raise the dead from the grave

But be careful when you use it, it might go to waste!

You'll never get close enough to put it in action

Have you ever seen combat? Or are you always this passive?

I hope you have no phobia with syringes

Because it wasn′t medicine that I′ve put in them

Soon I'll be saying, auf wiedersehen

As for the XP I′ve gained, Danke Schoen

My ubercharge is almost ready my friends

But if you get killed you'll have to recharge it again

Could I borrow your bonesaw for one moment, dear?

I′m performing an autopsy on your career

Ever heard of the Hippocratic Oath?

REDRUM, REDRUM!

I didn't think so

How ironic, Mercy destroyed ya

And I enjoyed it - schadenfreude

Above all else, do no harm

You won′t have that problem with your wimpy sidearm

When I use my crossbow my range is even longer

If you wanted to do that, you'd have to talk to Ana

I would finish you off, but my team can do the rest

I have better things to do - Oktoberfest!

Wait a second medic, my team needs health again!

So does mine, why am I the only one helping them?

You will be cared for

You'll be kept alive

I can be your support

Just try not to let me die

I′m defending our dps, and buffing our tanks

It just sucks when no one gives us a "thanks"

Nobody wants to thank you, they all think you are crazy!

I will murder them all!

You need professional help, and I′m here to listen

I know your ego is in critical condition

(Haha)

Speaking of critical, taste my Kritzkrieg!

And I'm so quick, Widowmaker couldn′t hit me!

You are snail, I am schnell

Say hello to Adolf when you see him in hell

Biohazard - my rhymes are dirty

At the end of this rap, I will show no Mercy!

Maybe we can reach a medicinal agreement

When it comes to healers, everybody needs them

And we get no credit!

Well said, Medic!

Hey, can I get a heal over here?

FORGET IT!

I'm done cleaning up

Cause I quit this job

I′ve been working my ass off

Like a single mom

When a healer's neglected, then you′ll all end up dead

Next time I die I'll just respawn as offense!

Hey, can I get a heal over here?

Where are the healers at?

Come on, I've died, like, three times, where are the healers?

I need some heals!

Somebody? Can I get some support?

We need some heal- ugh oh my god

I need a res!

Hello?

Oh come on, why weren′t you buffing my attack?

Ugh

Somebody!

Can I get a res?