JPee baby, uh, uh, uh, yup, yup (yeah)

You know who it is

Check this shit out, manCheck it out, check it out, here we go

Check it out, yeah

Chillin′ with my homies at the home depot

Buyin' screws and nails, manly shit ya know?

My homie says to me, "What kind of drill you want?"

So I said "I wanted one right in the ass"

..."What?"

I′m not gay

I'm not gay

It was a joke guys, come on

I'm not gay

I like vag more than a porn star scandal

But can I get the drill with the bright pink handle?

Playin′ tackle football with my homies in the park

Had to wrap it up ′cause it was gettin' dark

The other team was lookin′ straight scary as shit (oh)

But my quarterback, he ain't havin′ none of it (he ain't scared)

He looked at me and told me no matter where I was at

My priority job was to protect the sack (okay!)

So 4th down, he bends over and yells "Hike!"

So I went and grabbed his balls

"Huh?"

I′m not gay

I'm not gay

I'm just doin′ my job, step off!

I′m not gay

It's not like I was purposefully tryin′ to feel them (I wasn't)

I just care about the safety of your future children (godfather)

I′m not gay

I'm not gay

Quit tellin′ me that, man!

I'm not gay

Next time I'll just let your balls get mangled, son!

P.S. - I didn′t know that you were so well hung

Strollin′ with my homies in West Hollywood (Hollywood)

Wasn't my idea because I′m not gay

Dude walks by me with his shirt off and I was like, "Damn bitch you fine!"

Fuck!

I'm not gay, guys, that ain′t me

I'm just comfortable with my sexuality

So I can admit when I see a guy

Who has a handsome face, and pretty eyes

And a rock hard chest, and ripplin′ abs... (yeahhh)

And the tightest ass, and those sculpted calves

And those bulging quads, and the perfect body

And oh, my God, take your pants off

Uhhh

"Fuck it!"

I'm so gay

I'm fuckin′ gay

I′m the dude wearin' nail polish yellin′, "Heyyyy"

I'm the dude at the party who′ll grab your butt (that's me)

And when you turn around and look at me, I′ll be like "What?"

Yeah!

I'm gay (I'm gay)

I′m hella gay

I watch Zac Efron movies every Saturday

And normal self-expression doesn′t suit me, either

That's why my degree is in musical theater

I′m so gay, man

Dude

What?

Get out the shower

Go use the other bathroom guys

Common man, you are taking forever

You get in, you wash your body, you wash your hair, you get out

You've been shaving doesn′t take this long

But I'm gay

Dude, we all gay

Wait, you guys are gay too

Yeah men, we′re not upset with you cuz you're gay

We're upset with you cuz you′re molesting us

Alright common men its been like 35 minutes

Get out now or I′m burning your pink socks

I'm serious

Fine, go ahead