It feels so good

Oh, that′s my shit right thereThat's the ticket

Give me the ticket

Give it to me baby

You know it

I′m too emotional

Good luck to my future wives and their future lives without me

You guys will do great

I'm sure that I've prepared you for every guy you′ll date

And every guy you′ll marry

And every guy you'll hate

It′s the lullabies I sang out of tune thats probably what did it

Or my twin size mattress that I had since I was seven

That we have to sleep on whenever she spends the night

And if she falls off again she'll find another guy to like

We′re just Romeo & Juliet

But getting drunk and eating percocets

But just to ease the stress

But soft what light, the yonder window breaks

It is the east, but Juliet just puked off the balcony

How romantic

Nothing like getting drunk and getting manic

On a mother fucking Monday

I-I brush the bangs behind her lovely little ear

As she describes in detail how the end is truly near, wow

And I'm sure that we can do this for forever

Or until we drink the poison, ′cause she sees some cloudy weather

As Rosaline, lies in bed, seething, wide awake

Because a burning love for Juliet only took a day

And if Romeo & Juliet continued to be married

Then there's half of a chance

That their kids would get embarrassed

When all the kids at school all talk about their parents

And Romeo Jr. has to say their not together and

Junior will dream of the day when he's a man

And what he′ll do to avoid that 50 percent chance

Of his kids feeling the way he feels

He′ll probably just stick with the Netflix and chill

Dear Shakespeare

Could you write happy ending please?

Could you write a happy ending please?

We just deserve a happy ending please, please

And every sting from every tear drop

From every ring at every pawn shop

I'm not missing both my Christmas′

Though family would be nice

In my dreams my kids are happy

And I know that they won't mind

One Christmas

Just one Christmas

Just one Christmas

Just one Christmas

But dear mom

Conversations from a couch have never felt the same

Since you looked dad in the eyes

And you told him that things are about to change

My mom was made from Adam′s rib

And the marriage went south

And the snake came back and asked my mother out to dinner

And my dad found out

And asked my mom what that's about

And she said, "Oh, it′s nothing"

But dad loves to shout, really loud

Loud enough to knock the lamps and dressers to the ground

In my memory, I can hear

Chopin's Nocturnes playing in the background

A slow train wreck, you'll close your eyes

But forever hear the sound

And boy it′s tough

′Cause that's the sound of people falling out of love