Well I was driving down I-95 the other night,

when somebody nearly cut me right off the road.

I decided it wasn't going to do any good to get mad,

so I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this...

Were you bo-rn an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?

Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you're an ass-hole tonight.

Yes you're an A-SSHOLE, and don't you try to blame it on me,

you deserve all the credit, you're an asshole tonight.

You were an assho-le yesterday, you're an ass-hole tonight,

and I've got a feeling, you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.

And I was talking to your mother, just the other night,

I told her I thought you were an asshole, she said "yes, I think you're right".

And a-ll your friends are assholes, 'cause you've known them your whole life,

and somebo-dy told me, you've got an asshole for a wife.

Were you bo-rn an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?

Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you're an ass-hole tonight.