Backside melts into the sofa

My world, my TV, and my food

Besides listening to my belly gurgle

Ain't much else to do

Yeah, I sweat a lot

Pants fall down every time I bend over

And my feet itch

Yeah - I married a scarecrow

I hate you

Talkin' to myself

Everybody's starin' at me

I'm only bleedin'

Someone taps me on the shoulder every 5 minutes

Nobody speaks English anymore

Would anyone tell me if I was gettin' stupider?

I hate you

Talkin' to myself

You don't feel it after awhile

You take the beating

I'm a swingin' guy

Throw a belt over the shower curtain rod

And swing - - -

Toss me inside a hefty

And put me in the ground

A drink needs me

I don't

I ain't about to guzzle no tears

So kiss my ass

Newscasters, cockroaches, and desserts

I hate you

Talkin' to myself

Everybody's starin' at me

I'm only bleedin'

where are the kids?

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I think it's time I had a talk with my kids

I'll just tell 'em what my daddy told me

YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHIN'