I was sitting in my basement, I just rolled myself a taste

Of something green and gold and glorious to get me through the day

Then my friend yelled through the transom "Grab your coat and get your hat, sonThere′s a nut down on the corner, giving dollar bills away"

But I laid around a bit

And I had another hit

Then I rolled myself a bomber

Then I thought about my mama

Then I fooled around, played around

Jacked around a while and then

I got stoned and I missed it

I got stoned and I missed it

I got stoned and it rolled right by

I got stoned and I missed it

I got stoned and I missed it

I got stoned, oh me, oh my

Now it took seven months of urging just to get that local virgin

With the sweet face up to my place to fool around a bit

And next day she woke up rosy and she snuggled up so cosy

When she asked me how I liked it, Lord, it hurt me to admit

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned and it rolled right by (ready to go)

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned, oh me, oh my

I ain't making no excuses for the many things I uses

Just to sweeten my relationships and brighten up my day

But when my earthly race is over and I′m ready for the clover

And they ask me how my life has been, I guess I'll have to say

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned and it rolled right by

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned and I missed it

I was stoned, oh me, oh my

You can't sing like that condition