If I had a hammer

I'd wake up my neighbors

pounding out a rhythm

all about you

if I had a pencil

I'd push me some paper

I'd build a skyscraper

to get close to you

if I had a lasso

I'd sail out the window

and land on an island

next to you

if I had a hot rod

I'd fasten up my seatbelt

and break the speed limit

gettin' to you

but I ain't got a hammer

and I ain't got a pencil

and I ain't got a lasso

so i'm doing it the hard way

like a post post-modern man

if I had a credit card

I'd clear me a pathway

through the deepest jungle

right to your door

if I had a camera

I'd snap away my fingers

and collect up the pictures

of you of course

but I ain't got a hot rod

and I ain't got a credit card

no chance for a camera

so i'm doing it the hard way

like a post post-modern man

well I ain't got a hammer

and I ain't got a lasso

no chance for a camera

so i'm doing it the hard way