Sleeping deep beneath the sleepers of the isle

There′s a demon creature dreaming, heathen and reviled

Sees no rhyme or reason but for feasting when he's riledBetter let him be, lest you are sure to see the smile

Of 16 tons of scurrying death

Smoldering souls through funnel of red

With a pick-like grin on the front of his head

Sat atop a most illogical number of legs

Tickets, please, let me tell you the tale

Of a wicked beast, that′ll follow your trail

Through the valleys and vales, on your tail day and night

There'll be chaos on the rails when the railway strikes

Stop, take stock, try to gauge the situation

'Fraid your train has been derailed

There′s no use waiting in the station

Every engine′s been dismantled, there's no other service coming

Charles is leading by example, he′s the only train that's running

All in all, we′re in a doozy of a mess

So, all aboard the WTF express

Should you want to stay safe, then I wouldn't play games

Or you′ll learn another way of saying, "Run away, train!"

Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead

But you might just find that behind it instead

Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred

And we're next on the menu if we've left him unfed

Charlie, your timetable says it′s almost time for tea

Charlie, and we′ve laid on quite a spread, as you can see

There's a choo-choo train coming after you

Food chain′s gone a bit askew

Won't catch that train, if it′s gonna catch you

For certain, worse than what they say to mind the gap for

The train's not just cancelled, it′s damn well deplatformed!

Since it scampered off the tracks to

Find a snack from off your back lawn

Couple jackdaws and your cat and then your dad from off the back porch

He's hungry and he's hunting down the islanders

With a side of any siding-hiding bystanders

Quite queer what his dietary requirements are

But it′s pretty clear regardless, he′s a dining car

Coke? Coal? Petroleum? Alone, they'll never do

No, this engine sends the scent of rendered flesh out from the flue

On this service, we′ll be serving something rather more unnerving

Chugga-chugging on blood as he chew-chews you

It's all true, choo-choos consume fuel too

Humans are a whole new consumable and whole food

Gluten-free range and more renewable than coal, too

So, who to choose to chew to this tune? Ooh, you′ll do

Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead

But you might just find that behind it instead

Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred

And we're next on the menu if we′ve left him unfed

Charlie, your timetable says it's almost time for tea

Charlie, and we've laid on quite a spread, as you can see

Charlie, if we sate your lust for flesh on which to feed

Charlie, will you promise to eat them instead of me?

There′s a choo-choo train coming after you

Food chain′s gone a bit askew

Won't catch that train, if it′s gonna catch you

Engine, engine number nine

On the Aranearum mining line

If your train comes off the track

Better run, better run, or you won't come back

Hey, guess who? This is déjà vu

Like HS2, you′ll be railed right through

Penetrated in the vein of a mainline route

When we come, well then, we're gonna run a train on you!

You might say we′ve got a loco motive

To provide the train with a load of groceries

Locally sourced from the local folk, dear

Granny's s'posed to host, although she′s toast when the smoke clears

The el choo-choopacabara, the beast come to dine

And it′s far worse than leaves that he leaves on the line

You'll see when he feasts in the deep of the night

By the pieces of people-y debris left behind

Riding off-peak? Don′t be ridiculous

The worth of your season ticket is

Quickly diminishing with every pillock

We're feeding into his gleaming scissorous teeth

But if we seem insidious, we′re just uneasy villagers

Seeking to keep the most hideous beast

We unleashed from committing the deed of killing us

If killing a priest, a vicar, a grocer, or postman or three is villainous?

Well, what's it to me? You probably see the feast is imminent

Keep on screaming, pump the bellows, he′ll be drawn to your duress

Charlie loves a little murder on the goriest express

You can ruminate on whether there's a certain train near

Or pray that it's a rumour made to circulate fear

But in case you didn′t hear, then I better make clear

This train terminates here

Every life has a light in the tunnel ahead

But you might just find that behind it instead

Of a heaven is an engine and the devil inbred

And we′re next on the menu if we've left him unfed

Charlie, your timetable says it′s almost time for tea

Charlie, and we've laid on quite a spread, as you can see

Charlie, if we sate your lust for flesh on which to feed

Charlie, will you promise to eat them instead of me?

There′s a choo-choo train coming after you

Food chain's gone a bit askew

Won′t catch that train, if it's gonna catch you