If there ever was a way to rate a man

On a cowboy scale of one to ten

Kinda like you would a woman or a chili pepperA one ain′t hot, but a ten'll stop your ticker

It′d be based on courage and attitude

Not the band on the hat or the bling on the boot

Less about the out, more about the within

On this cowboy scale of one to ten

Now take the pretty boy over at the bar for example

His Resistol's huge and his B.S. is ample

But I got a feelin' he′s nevеr stepped in none

And on thе cowboy scale that puts him down around a one

Now the guy in the ball cap, the tshirt, and dirty ol jeans

Got a dozen gold buckles that you′ll probly never see

'Cause he really don′t givva damn what you think he is

On your cowboy scale of one to ten

Some ride bulls and some ride fences

Some ride off into that sunset

Some drive cattle and some drive Chevy's

But they all drive them ladies crazy

Ladies and gentlemen

My friends Dale Brisbie and Mr. Cobin are here to give you some cowboy education

Are you ready boys? (Yes sir)

Tell them about it all, son

Now the cowgirls, boys, they′re the ones who know

The real deal from ol' ricky rodeo

Cause let me tell ya fellas, till they see you ride

They′ll never give you more than a four

Maybe five

Now not all cowboys hail from the lone star state

California, Alaska to Canada, eh?

I even know a few hippies, long hair and tatoos

That sure are some tough mother buckaroos

Some ride bulls and some ride fences

Some ride off into that sunset

Some drive cattle and some drive Chevy's

But they all drive them ladies crazy

We got here one more cowboy who knows a thing or two about it

Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Mr. Needleboo

Come on cowboy

So if ya ever took a big ol' dip o Copenhagen

Started barroom brawls or just participated

Know a quarter horse can′t be started with a coin

Y′ain't quite there yet, boys, but ′yer getting warm

Ladies and gentlemen, our brother Mr. Ray Stigger

I've been around some, and I′d like to say

If you really wanna know who's the real John Wayne

Well, that′s the folks who serve and protect this great land

And on the cowboy scale

That's a top drawer ten

Let's go find a beer cold, boys

What you say? (Yes sir)

May I give you some Copenhagen Origin

Here you go, Cody, no need at all