Verse 1

The militant bunkers where

I imagine I'm in my lover's bed

We swam naked – we frolicked young and free

Glistening wet like a froggies leg on a paraplegic's knee

I gazed into his eyes, what do I see

Jaundice, a disease menagerie

But though he's got – a figure of an aging sloth

His love – pump can deliver a malicious wrath

Chorus 1

David Hasselhoff – dressed mean, with boots to tease

Bend over, please now punish me

David Hasselhoff – tuck me in bed tonight

Appease me with your leathery face

Verse 2

Conscripted to fort Dik

Showering with men from 3 to 6

We sung about – leotards, fairies and naked gladiators

I dreamt I was Peter Pan in a frock telling Captain Hook to suck my cock

It looks like I see your prong

I thought you were a – naïve bastard in a stupid talking car

But then I saw you in a “Baywatch” and thought you were the sexiest man by far

Verse 3

Done run away, I beg of thee

Ill show you Athens – style sodomy

We played – grecko marines with our sted – fast dicks

We clubbed our pricks like homeless kids and lathered our self with garlic bread

My heart and bowel belongs to you

No one roots like you – they cum too soon

Oh how – soldiers love being gay

Unlike prison we don't need soap to play

Chorus 2

David Hasselhoff – my syphilis caused you internal rot

Your old and crusty, you cant even please

Fly back to Germany, how 'Bout writing a pop song or two

Hey Davey boy, here's a message for you –

Outro

FUCK – OFF – YOU – CUNT!!