Everytime I clean me room, I make another mess

Everytime I miss the bus, I am late for a test

Everytime I'm reincarnated, it's in the lowest form

I leave my window open every time there is a storm

Everytime I have a hangover, I have to go to work

Everytime I masturbate, dry tends to hurt

Everytime I pat a dog, it bites me on the hand

Everytime I talk to aliens, they don't understand

Everytime I skate, I get another bruise

Everytime I get drunk, I vomit on my shoes

Everytime I scratch, the needle jumps

Everytime I drink milk, it comes out in lumps

Everytime I freestyle, I just talk shit

Everytime I catch the bus, there is no where to sit

Everytime I catch a train, Im askin for ticket

Everytime I'm batting in cricket, 1st ball takes a wicket

Everytime I'm drunk at a party in a toga, I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga

Everytime I eat, I get a pain in my chest

Everytime I thinks it's heartburn, it's cardiac arrest

Everytime I make a phone call, a lady interrupts

Everytime I dump a load at someone's house, it won't flush

Everytime it won't flush, it stains the ceramic

If you ever see me happy it because I'm manic

It's not easy being me

It's not easy being me

Everytime I give advice, it comes out wrong

Everytime I get raided, my prints are on the bong

Everytime I score, I get shitty leaf

Always living with another hoe until the heavy Mr G

Everytime we smoke a joint, I end up with the roach

Everytime I skip sport, I get drilled by the coach

But every time I play footy, I get tackled in the dirt

I crack another rib and it really fuckin hurts

Everytime I brush my teeth, I find another cavity

Everytime I try to fly, I discover gravity

Everytime I have a craving, I run out of food

Everytime we spin the bottle, I'm the 1 who ends up nude

Everytime I give a girl an orgasm, she fakes

Everytime I jam it in, the condom breaks

Everytime I gamble, I lose all my chips

Everytime I eat all bran, I get the shits

But everytime I shit, it takes about an hour

And there's never any paper so I have to have a shower

But everytime I shower the towel is already wet

And it's not wet with water but wet with Cum and sweat

Everytime I pluck my pubic hairs to make myself attractive

My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic

Everytime I write a song, radio stations ban it

Cause when you play my records in reverse they're satanic

Worship Satan,

Worship Satan,

Worship Satan,

Worship Satan,

Worship Satan,

Worship Satan,

Worship Satan,

Worship Satan,

Everytime I make a joke, people take me serious

Everytime I go down on a girl, she's on her period

Everytime I drive a car, a cop will pull me over

But I'll say I'm someone else and that I'm sober

Every blind date turns out to be blind

My looks are all I have and that is why I mind

Everytime I have a dream, I'm at the school dance

Everyone is looking at me cause I don't have any pants

Everytime we play piggy in the middle, I'm the pig

Everytime we play tiggy, I'm the 1 who's it

Everytime I lick toad, I get warts on my tongue

Everytime I see a killer bee, It's me that's getting stung

Everytime I play scrabble, I make the word at

Every wet fart, leaves a stain where I sat

Everytime I fuck your mum, she wants it in the bum

And everytime I'm done, it's not because I've come

Everytime I crack and do a chick and pull my stack out

Everytime I try to suck my dick, I put my back out

Everytime I catch a wave, I hit a coral reef

And everytime I order vegetarian, I get beef

I Get Beef

Chicken's not a vegetable

I Get Beef

Chicken's not a vegetable