ANYA

This is the man that I intend to entangle

Isn't he fine?

My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle

Vengeance was mine!

But I'm out of the biz

The name I made, I'll trade for his

The only trouble is - -

I'll never tell.

XANDERR

She is the one

She's such wonderful fun

Such passion and grace

Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - -

Embrace! Tight embrace!

I'll never let her go

The love we've known can only grow

There's just one thing that - -

No. I'll never tell.

ANYA AND XANDERR

Cause there's nothing to tell.

ANYA

He snores

XANDERR

She wheezes

ANYA

Say 'housework' and he freezes

XANDERR

She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe

ANYA

I talk; he breezes

XANDERR

She doesn't know what 'please' is

ANYA

His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!

ANYA AND XANDERR

The vibe gets kind of scary

XANDERR

Like, she thinks I'm ordinary

ANYA

Like, it's all just temporary

XANDERR

Like, her toes are kind of hairy

ANYA AND XANDERR

But it's all very well

Cause, God knows, I'll never tell!

ANYA

When things get rough, he

Just hides behind his Buffy!

Now look, he's getting huffy

Cause he knows that I know.

XANDERR

She clings

She's needy

She's also really greedy

She nev - -

ANYA

His eyes are beady!

XANDERR

This is my verse, hello?

She - -

ANYA (Spoken)

Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy!

ANYA AND XANDERR

You know

XANDERR

You're quite the charmer

ANYA

My knight in armor

XANDERR

You're the cutest of the Scoobies

With your lips as red as rubies

And your firm, yet supple - -

Tight embrace

TOGETHER

I lied I said it's easy

I tried but there's these fears I cant quell

XANDER

iIs she looking for a pot of gold

ANYA

Will I look good when ive gotten old

XANDER

Will our lives become too stressful if im never that successful

ANYA

When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like david brinkley

XANDER

Am I crazy

ANYA

Am I dreamin

XANDER

Am I marrying a demon

both

We can really raise the beam in makin marriage a hell so thank god ill never tell... I swear that ill never tell

XANDER

My lips are sealed

ANYA

I take the fifth

XANDERr

Nothin to see

ANYA

Move it along

BOTH

I'll never... tell