Gaston:

Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Gaston!

LeFou:

Heh heh. Darn right.

Gaston:

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.

LeFou:

More beer?

Gaston:

What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

LeFou:

Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together.

LeFou:

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston

Looking so down in the dumps

Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston

Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as admired as you

You're ev'ryone's favorite guy

Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you

And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Gaston

No one's quick as Gaston

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's

For there's no man in town half as manly

Perfect, a pure paragon!

You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley

And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

LeFou and Chorus:

No one's been like Gaston

A king pin like Gaston

LeFou:

No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

Gaston:

As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

LeFou and Chorus:

My what a guy, that Gaston!

Give five "hurrahs!"

Give twelve "hip-hips!"

LeFou:

Gaston is the best

And the rest is all drips

Chorus:

No one fights like Gaston

Douses lights like Gaston

Beerdrinker 1:

In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston!

Bimbettes:

For there's no one as burly and brawny

Gaston:

As you see I've got biceps to spare

LeFou:

Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

Gaston:

That's right!

And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair

Cronies:

No one hits like Gaston

Townsman: