Well I was driving down I95 the other night

Somebody nearly cut me right off the road

I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad

So I wrote a song about him instead

It goes like this:

Were you born an asshole

Or did you work at it your whole life?

Either way it worked out fine

'Cause you're an asshole tonight

Yes you're an A - S - S - H - O - L - E

And don'tcha try to blame it o me

You deserve all the credit

You're an asshole tonight

You were an asshole yesterday

You're an asshole tonight

I've got a feeling

You'll be an asshole the rest of your life

I was talking to your mother

Just the other night

I told her I thought you were an asshole

She said "Yes, I think you're right"

And all your friends are assholes

'Cause you've known them your whole life

And somebody told me

You've got an asshole for a wife

Were you born an asshole

Or did you work at it your whole life?

Either way it worked out fine

'Cause you're an asshole tonight