I cried the day my grandfather no longer knew my face

I wept by the window when he died

And when my mother called long distanceTo say her mother passed away

I blubbered on the bus, I couldn′t hide

I've cried out many broken hearts

I′ve sobbed in countless drinks

Over girls with faces I barely now recall

I bawled in a ball on the kitchen floor

When living was too much

Pick a room, I've wept in them all

But I can't tell you why

Tonight my eyеs are dry

I always cry at musicals

When loving dreams arе sung

I′ve stained many books, their stories false and true

I cry at rom-coms, dramedies

The news and children′s films

The Muppet Movie, Frozen, Frozen 2

But I can't tell you why

Tonight my eyes are dry

What would you call the opposite of a comedian?

Whatever it is, that′s what I wanted to be

I dreamed of touring the country

Playing small gigs in intimate venues

Sitting on stage in a leather wingback armchair

And telling tales of woe

The audience would join me in a long collective cry

We would all weep together as one

I even planned the merchandise

A hundred percent cotton souvenir handkerchiefs

Embroidered with tour dates

Available in the foyer after the show

I'm waiting for the waterworks to come

But I don′t feel a thing, I'm just exhausted and numb

I need some release, I need to make it all real

A lacrimal Niagara, a dramatic reveall